The Beauty of Fall as a Metaphor for Life

Every year, I watch the leaves begin to change, and I’m reminded of how natural change really is. 🍂 Fall shows us that letting go can be beautiful, and that endings often carry the promise of new beginnings. For me, it’s a perfect metaphor for life—and for therapy.

 In my work as a therapist, I often reflect on how much courage it takes to show up to the first session. Whether you walk into my office or join a virtual call, that act already tells me something important: you are motivated, and you’re ready for change.

 Why People Come to Therapy

 People seek therapy for many different reasons. Some come after a breakup or struggling with a current relationship, others are experiencing a loss, or overwhelming stress at home or work. Others come because they feel stuck, notice themselves repeating old patterns, or want to gain a deeper understanding of who they are.

Some carry trauma. Some long for healthier relationships. And others can’t quite name why they’re here, only that something inside says, life could be different.

 No matter the reason, I see one thing clearly: just by showing up, you’re already taking your wellbeing seriously.

 Showing Up Is Already Change

 I truly believe that showing up is the first and most powerful shift. Even before we begin exploring together, you’ve said “yes” to yourself. That single step matters.

 A Place of Possibility

 Therapy isn’t about erasing your struggle. Rather, it is more about creating space for curiosity, compassion, and growth. It’s where patterns can be understood, tools can be learned, and self-compassion can take root.

 Just like the trees in fall, we can release what no longer serves us and create space for what comes next. 🌱

 Every time you show up, you’re reminding yourself: change is possible, and you are worth the effort.

Disclaimer: This blog is for educational purposes only and does not replace professional advice or therapy. Reading this does not create a therapeutic relationship. If you are in crisis, call 911 in Canada or contact Talk Suicide Canada at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7).

The Protective Side of Anxiety: A Different Way to Look at Worry

Note: This perspective represents one therapeutic approach among many and may not resonate with everyone's experience of anxiety.

Reframing Our Relationship with Anxiety

What if anxiety isn't always the enemy we've been taught to believe it is? Many therapeutic approaches, including Coherence Therapy, invite us to consider whether anxiety might actually be our system's attempt at a solution. Maybe those anxious feelings are a protective response that made perfect sense at some point in our lives.

This reframing can be helpful for some people, though individual experiences with anxiety vary greatly. Rather than viewing anxiety as something broken that needs fixing, this perspective explores it as a message from our deeper wisdom—even when that message feels overwhelming or outdated.

The Protective Origins of Anxiety

Many therapeutic approaches suggest that at some point in our lives, often at a very young age, we learned that something or someone wasn't safe. Our brain and body, in their incredible wisdom, may have developed strategies to protect us. For many people, anxiety became an early warning system, a way of staying alert to potential threats.

This learning often happens at levels deeper than conscious thought. Our nervous system may remember and respond, even when our logical mind can't quite put together why we feel anxious in certain situations.

The Challenge of Old Messages in New Contexts

The protective strategies that once served us can sometimes become problematic when they're activated in contexts where they're no longer needed. It's like having a smoke alarm that's so sensitive it goes off when you're making toast—the alarm system isn't broken, but the calibration might need adjustment.

For some people, anxiety carries messages from earlier experiences, and sometimes these messages may be heightened or mismatched to current reality. The part of us that learned to be hypervigilant might still be trying to protect the adult we've become.

The Polyvagal Perspective: Connection and Safety

According to polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous system responds to safety and threat in predictable ways. When we feel truly safe and socially connected, our ventral vagal system may allow us to be calm, present, and engaged with others.

However, when our system detects a threat, whether real or perceived, we may enter states of fight-or-flight activation or even shutdown and withdrawal. Many people find it helpful to understand these responses as protective, rather than pathological, which can help us approach anxiety with curiosity rather than criticism.

Taking Time for Exploration

For many people, feeling safer and reducing anxious responses takes time and gentle exploration. Therapeutic approaches often focus not on forcing ourselves to "get over" anxiety, but on understanding its roots and slowly building new experiences of safety.

Therapeutic work often involves:

• Exploring what situations or relationships may trigger protective responses

• Understanding the historical context that might have created these protective patterns

• Gradually building experiences of safety and connection

• Learning to differentiate between past threats and present reality

The Necessity of Our Protection

Perhaps most importantly, many therapeutic approaches acknowledge that our anxiety may have been, and in some cases still is, necessary. It may have protected us when we needed protection and helped us survive difficult circumstances. Honoring this protective function, rather than fighting against it, can sometimes be a helpful step toward a more peaceful relationship with anxiety.

Moving Forward with Compassion

This perspective isn't about dismissing anxiety or pretending it doesn't cause real distress. Instead, it's about potentially approaching our anxious responses with curiosity and compassion, recognizing them as adaptive strategies that our system may have developed for very good reasons.

When we can explore anxiety as a message rather than a mistake, we might open up space for understanding, healing, and gradually building new patterns of safety and connection.

For more information on polyvagal theory and the nervous system, visit the Polyvagal Institute website.

.Important Disclaimer: This post is intended for educational purposes only and reflects general therapeutic concepts found in various approaches to mental health. It is not intended as professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual experiences with anxiety vary greatly, and what feels helpful to one person may not work for another. If anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, relationships, or well-being, please consult with a qualified mental health professional who can provide personalized assessment and support tailored to your specific needs.

A bit about Mindfulness

Mindfulness Is Easier Than You Think

Okay, let's be real. When someone says "mindfulness," you probably think of people sitting cross-legged for hours, looking all zen and peaceful. ( I know thats what I thought) But here's the thing …mindfulness at its core is actually just about being present.

When Your Brain Goes on Autopilot

You know that feeling when you're stressed and suddenly realize you've been running on autopilot? Like you ate lunch while doom-scrolling without tasting anything? Or when your thoughts are just spinning in circles.

Mindfulness is just a way to come back.

It's All About Getting Back to You

Think of mindfulness as your personal reset button. When you notice you've mentally checked out, you can use simple stuff to anchor yourself back in the moment. So how does this work…. how can I do this?

Your Breath (It's Free!)

Your breath is like the ultimate mindfulness hack. Feeling scattered? Take three deep breaths and actually pay attention to them. Feel the air going in, filling you up, then flowing back out. Boom—you're back. Every microsecond can help us and we can build those small moments into seconds and maybe even minutes to help calm our nervous system (and maybe even create new neural network pathways in our brain- check out this about neural networks)

Use Your Senses

Your five senses are basically instant presence tools:

Feel your feet on the ground or the sun on your face

Listen to whatever sounds are around you (even boring ones count)

Look around and actually see the colors and details

Notice any smells such as coffee, fresh air, whatever

If you're eating or drinking something, actually take a moment to enjoy the taste

Turn Boring Stuff Into Mini Meditation

Here's where it gets fun. Take your morning coffee and instead of chugging it while checking your phone, what if you actually smelled it? Felt the warm mug in your hands? Tasted that first sip like it mattered?

Suddenly your regular coffee becomes this little moment of calm. And those moments? They add up.

Small Stuff = Big Impact

You can practice mindfulness while brushing your teeth, walking to your car, or waiting in line. No special equipment needed, no perfect posture required. Just you, showing up to whatever you're doing.

Every time you choose to be present instead of spacing out, you're basically training your brain to chill. And the more you do it, the easier it gets to stay calm when life gets crazy.

Just Start Anywhere

Look, you're not going to be mindful 24/7, and that's totally fine. The whole point is just to notice when you've drifted off and gently come back. No judgment, no pressure.

Your breath is right there. Your senses are ready to go. This moment is happening right now.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding your mental health or treatment options. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local emergency services or crisis hotline immediately.

When Trauma Won't “File Away”: The Power of EMDR

When Memories Don't File Properly

As I've been reading Francine Shapiro's foundational work on EMDR as part of my training, one concept that makes sense to me is how traumatic memories can become "stuck" in our minds. Think of it like files on a computer - when everything is working smoothly, our experiences get properly processed, categorized, and stored in our long-term memory where they belong.

But sometimes, particularly with traumatic or highly distressing experiences, this natural filing system gets disrupted. Instead of being organized and integrated with our other memories, these traumatic experiences remain in a kind of "active folder" - unprocessed, fragmented, and still triggering our nervous system as if the danger is happening right now.

How it works…

EMDR is one way to help the brain complete this interrupted filing process. Through bilateral stimulation (traditionally eye movements, but also sounds or tactile sensations), EMDR appears to activate the same neural mechanisms that naturally process experiences during REM sleep. This allows those "stuck" traumatic memories to finally be properly integrated and stored, reducing their emotional charge and intrusive quality.

Why I'm Excited to add this tool to my toolkit

The research supporting EMDR is compelling, and I've seen firsthand how trauma can impact people's daily lives in profound ways. The idea that we can help the brain's natural healing processes work more effectively - that we can help people "file away" their traumatic experiences properly - feels both hopeful and empowering.

I'm looking forward to learning the specific protocols, understanding the theory more deeply, and eventually being able to offer this evidence-based approach to my clients. As a therapist, I think it's important to have a diverse toolkit to help clients, as each person is unique.

Moving Forward

I'm reminded of why I love this field so much. Every new therapeutic approach offers fresh perspectives on the human experience and new ways to support healing. I’ll be sure to update everyone when I can expand this service to all my clients.

Check out https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ or About EMDR Therapy - EMDR International Association for more information on EMDR.

Video resources https://youtu.be/hKrfH43srg8?si=BrnOAIL8RxGLa7K9

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.

Finding Your Path to Therapy: A Personal Journey

When we think about starting therapy, a mix of emotions may come up—excitement, nervousness, fear, or even shame. Mental health is still perceived differently from our physical health. We have come a long way in destigmatizing mental health, but there is a lot more work to do.

There is no formula that works for everyone, and finding a therapist who works for you is important. Our pain and wounds are often relational, meaning it was people or systems that hurt us, so the idea of opening up to a stranger can feel uncomfortable.

We learn to “adapt” ourselves to protect ourselves from hurt and pain, which is one reason I love Coherence Therapy. With Coherence Therapy, we work on uncovering the core painful experiences, emotional learnings, and the resulting adaptations you made.

We can learn to pause and listen to the messages of our emotions. Sometimes these “ emotional learnings” were helpful in the past, but may not serve us in our lives now.

For example, you may have been made fun of while doing a presentation on a hobby and learned that the things you enjoy do not matter. You adapted by not sharing your ideas and instead focusing only on what others need. Implicit learnings like this run in our subconscious, and therapy can help us uncover this.

When that inner critic comes up, it may be helpful to ask, "What is this trying to protect me from feeling or doing, and is this helpful right now?"

Judith Klapak

jcmindscience@outlook.com

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.