Finding the Right Therapist

How to Find the Right Therapist: A Guide to Therapist Shopping

Finding the perfect therapist doesn't happen overnight – and that's completely normal. Here's my ideas on how to navigate the process of finding your ideal therapeutic match.

Why Therapist Shopping is Not Only Normal, But Essential

Choosing a therapist isn't like picking a dentist from your insurance directory. The therapeutic relationship is deeply personal, and finding the right fit can make a difference because unless you feel comfortable sharing it can be hard have those insights. Therapist shopping – the process of meeting with multiple therapists before committing to one is recommended.

A lot of pain we experience is relational ( in relation to someone else). Whether it's childhood trauma, relationship struggles, or patterns that keep us stuck, these wounds often happened in connection with others. This means healing also happens in relationship – specifically, the therapeutic relationship. When you feel safe and connected with your therapist, real change becomes possible.

The Importance of a Good Therapeutic Fit

Why Connection Matters in Therapy

Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of successful treatment outcomes. You need to feel:

Safe to be vulnerable without judgment

Understood and heard in your experiences

Comfortable with their communication style

Confident in their expertise for your specific needs

Aligned with their approach to mental health

Signs You've Found a Good Match

You'll know you're with the right therapist when:

You feel genuinely heard and understood

They remember important details from previous sessions

Their approach resonates with how you see the world

You feel increasingly comfortable being authentic

You notice positive shifts in your thoughts, feelings, or behaviors

They adapt their style to what works best for you

Essential Questions to Ask When Interviewing Therapists

Most therapists offer free 15-minute consultation calls specifically for this purpose. Don't feel guilty about using them – this is exactly what they're for! Here are the crucial questions to ask:

1. Education and Training

"What is your educational background and training?"

"Are you licensed in this state?"

"Do you have specialized training in [your specific concern]?"

"How long have you been practicing?"

2. Therapeutic Approach and Philosophy

"How do you view mental health 'problems'?"

"What is your general approach to therapy?"

"Do you see symptoms as problems to eliminate, or as information about what's needed?"

Look for therapists who see symptoms as solutions or adaptations rather than just problems to fix. This strength-based perspective can be incredibly healing.

3. Treatment Modalities and Integration

"What therapeutic modalities do you use?"

"Do you integrate different approaches, or focus on one specific method?"

"How do you decide which approach to use with each client?"

"Are you trained in trauma-informed care?"

4. Practical Considerations

"What does your typical treatment timeline look like?"

"How do you measure progress?"

"What is your policy on between-session contact?"

"Do you accept my insurance, or what are your rates?"

How to Make the Most of Consultation Calls

Before the Call:

Write down your main concerns and goals

Prepare your questions in advance

Consider what type of therapeutic relationship you want

During the Call:

Pay attention to how they make you feel

Notice if they answer questions directly and thoroughly

Ask about their experience with your specific issues

Trust your gut reaction

After the Call:

Reflect on whether you felt heard and understood

Consider if their approach aligns with your needs

Don't rush – it's okay to interview multiple therapists

What to Do When a Therapist Can't Help You

Sometimes a therapist might realize they're not the best person to help with your specific needs. When this happens, many therapists will suggest someone else who might be a better match. They often know other therapists who work with different issues or use different approaches.

If the therapist sees they are not a right fit, or you want someone different, ask:

"Can you recommend someone who specializes in this area?"

"What type of therapist do you think would be most helpful?"

"Do you know anyone who uses [specific approach you're interested in]?"

Making Your Final Decision

After your consultations, consider:

Gut feeling: Did you feel comfortable and safe?

Expertise: Do they have experience with your concerns?

Approach: Does their philosophy align with your values?

Practical fit: Do logistics work (schedule, location, cost)?

Growth potential: Can you imagine opening up to this person?

Remember: You're in Control

Therapy is one of the few services where the relationship between provider and client is paramount to success. You wouldn't stay with a doctor who made you feel worse, and the same applies to therapy. You have every right to find someone who truly gets you.

The bottom line: Therapist shopping isn't picky or difficult. Taking time to find the right therapeutic relationship is an investment in your healing journey.

Looking for a therapist who sees your struggles as adaptations rather than just problems? Ready to find someone who truly understands your unique needs? Start your therapist shopping journey today – your future self will thank you.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding your mental health or treatment options. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact your local emergency services or crisis hotline immediately.

When Trauma Won't “File Away”: The Power of EMDR

When Memories Don't File Properly

As I've been reading Francine Shapiro's foundational work on EMDR as part of my training, one concept that makes sense to me is how traumatic memories can become "stuck" in our minds. Think of it like files on a computer - when everything is working smoothly, our experiences get properly processed, categorized, and stored in our long-term memory where they belong.

But sometimes, particularly with traumatic or highly distressing experiences, this natural filing system gets disrupted. Instead of being organized and integrated with our other memories, these traumatic experiences remain in a kind of "active folder" - unprocessed, fragmented, and still triggering our nervous system as if the danger is happening right now.

How it works…

EMDR is one way to help the brain complete this interrupted filing process. Through bilateral stimulation (traditionally eye movements, but also sounds or tactile sensations), EMDR appears to activate the same neural mechanisms that naturally process experiences during REM sleep. This allows those "stuck" traumatic memories to finally be properly integrated and stored, reducing their emotional charge and intrusive quality.

Why I'm Excited to add this tool to my toolkit

The research supporting EMDR is compelling, and I've seen firsthand how trauma can impact people's daily lives in profound ways. The idea that we can help the brain's natural healing processes work more effectively - that we can help people "file away" their traumatic experiences properly - feels both hopeful and empowering.

I'm looking forward to learning the specific protocols, understanding the theory more deeply, and eventually being able to offer this evidence-based approach to my clients. As a therapist, I think it's important to have a diverse toolkit to help clients, as each person is unique.

Moving Forward

I'm reminded of why I love this field so much. Every new therapeutic approach offers fresh perspectives on the human experience and new ways to support healing. I’ll be sure to update everyone when I can expand this service to all my clients.

Check out https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr/ or About EMDR Therapy - EMDR International Association for more information on EMDR.

Video resources https://youtu.be/hKrfH43srg8?si=BrnOAIL8RxGLa7K9

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.

Understanding Grief: Beyond Simple Definitions

Having recently completed specialized training in grief counselling, I've been reflecting on how the word "grief" itself may not fully honour the complexity of each person's unique experience.

Grief is More Than Loss of Life

When we think of grief, we often picture the loss of a person such as a family member, friend, or beloved pet. But grief encompasses so much more. It can be the loss of an ex-partner, a job, a cherished dream, or the expectations we held for our future. Each of these losses deserves recognition and space to be processed.

Every Path is Different

What strikes me most is how uniquely each person processes grief. There's no universal roadmap, no standard timeline, and no "right" way to grieve. For some clients, the relationship with the person they've lost complicates their feelings. Perhaps it was an ex-partner, or the loss is connected to a criminal offense. In some cases, our legal and social systems can perpetuate feelings of injustice or shame, adding layers of complexity to an already difficult journey.

Moving Beyond the "Process" Mindset

The idea that grief follows a predictable process can be limiting. It suggests there's an endpoint, a finish line where we're "done" grieving. This framework can leave people feeling broken or inadequate when their experience doesn't match these expectations.

Grief as a Room in Our House

Instead, I'm drawn to the metaphor of grief as a room in our house. We can honour our loss, remember what we've lost, and spend time in that space when we need to. But slowly, we also move to other rooms and start connecting with other people, exploring new ideas, engaging with life. The beautiful thing about this metaphor is that we never shut the door to that grief room. It remains accessible, a part of our home, but it doesn't have to be the only room we inhabit.

This approach allows us to carry our losses with us while still living, honouring both our grief and our capacity for continued growth and connection.

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.

Meaning Making

Why I Named My Practice "JC MindScience Counselling"

You might wonder about the story behind the name I chose for my new venture. The answer lies in something deeply important to me: creating meaning.

The Foundation: Logotherapy and Viktor Frankl

During my graduate studies, I was profoundly influenced by Viktor Frankl's logotherapy. At its core, logotherapy emphasizes helping people find personal meaning in life. This therapeutic approach focuses on the future and our remarkable ability to endure hardship and suffering through the pursuit of purpose. Frankl's wisdom became a cornerstone of how I view both healing and human resilience.

The Personal in "JC"

While "JC" represents my initials, it carries much deeper significance. These letters also honor the initials of special people in my life—individuals who have navigated mental health challenges and shown me the power of resilience.

Through witnessing these journeys, I've learned that we can grow and adapt even in the face of hardship. This doesn't negate the pain that comes with struggle; rather, it reminds me that our identity isn't defined by only our moments of difficulty. It's crucial to remember both the pain and the growth—they're inseparable parts of our human story.

The Science Behind "MindScience"

"MindScience" honors my background in science, which taught me two invaluable qualities: curiosity and a love of learning. Being a scientist shaped how I approach understanding the human mind and healing—with wonder, rigor, and an openness to discovery.

The integration of scientific thinking with therapeutic practice feels natural to me. Just as science seeks to understand and explain, therapy seeks to understand and heal. Both require patience, observation, and the courage to explore the unknown.

A Name With Purpose

JC MindScience Counselling represents the convergence of personal experience, professional training, and scientific curiosity. It's a name that honors the people who shaped me, the education that prepared me, and the belief that everyone deserves to find meaning and purpose in their lives—even in the midst of struggle.

This is more than a business name; it's a commitment to walking alongside others as they discover their own capacity for growth, resilience, and meaning-making.

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.

Finding Your Path to Therapy: A Personal Journey

When we think about starting therapy, a mix of emotions may come up—excitement, nervousness, fear, or even shame. Mental health is still perceived differently from our physical health. We have come a long way in destigmatizing mental health, but there is a lot more work to do.

There is no formula that works for everyone, and finding a therapist who works for you is important. Our pain and wounds are often relational, meaning it was people or systems that hurt us, so the idea of opening up to a stranger can feel uncomfortable.

We learn to “adapt” ourselves to protect ourselves from hurt and pain, which is one reason I love Coherence Therapy. With Coherence Therapy, we work on uncovering the core painful experiences, emotional learnings, and the resulting adaptations you made.

We can learn to pause and listen to the messages of our emotions. Sometimes these “ emotional learnings” were helpful in the past, but may not serve us in our lives now.

For example, you may have been made fun of while doing a presentation on a hobby and learned that the things you enjoy do not matter. You adapted by not sharing your ideas and instead focusing only on what others need. Implicit learnings like this run in our subconscious, and therapy can help us uncover this.

When that inner critic comes up, it may be helpful to ask, "What is this trying to protect me from feeling or doing, and is this helpful right now?"

Judith Klapak

jcmindscience@outlook.com

Disclaimer:
This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care . If you are experiencing distress or a mental health crisis, please contact local emergency services.